just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
