so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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