Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
