so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
