why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
