It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
