I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
