I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
