Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
