I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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