The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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