Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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