I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
