I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
