Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
