Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
