I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
