So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
