My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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