Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
