so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
