i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
