break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
