end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
