You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize