I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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