i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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