My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
