I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
