Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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