sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
