this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
