Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize