I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
