I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
