cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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