Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
