It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
