WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ttyl tear gas
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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