We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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