I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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