no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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