Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
