When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
