Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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