I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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