if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
