haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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