make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
