I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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