I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
