I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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