you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
