Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
