He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize