mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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