Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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