I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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