I want to make a zoo with you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
