just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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