really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
