This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
