just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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