So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
not ubering you a puppy
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
