my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can you bring me the toilet please
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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